Let’s journey back… back to S3 Magazine circa 2007: —–You gotta have a big set when your goal is winning the NOPI Drift Championship. A great car and a large bank account are nice to have at your disposal, but if you don’t have the balls to risk both man & machine out on the track, you might as well not even bother to unload your truck.
If you like boobs, then this article’s for you…
Because Blake is definitely the tits. For those of you who haven’t heard of him… this is Blake Fuller’s 350Z that he runs in the NOPI Drift Series. For those of you who have seen him drive… then you know why I can say he’s the ‘tits’ in a magazine with such confidence. He can back it up for me. Haha… here we go. I’ll tell you guys a little secret about him.
See – Blake is one of Them…
He has mastered the secret-society technique of driving with your balls. That’s right kids. Maybe he learned it from the Drift Brigade guys… I don’t know. But whatever the case, I’ll break it down for you as best as I understand it from my research and interviews.
Some guys out there drive with their brain. They use their good judgement. They’re aggressive, but not angry. They lift where they should. They conserve engines & bodykit pieces. Blah blah blah. Then you have the others…
The elite few who have been possessed by their massive balls…
They say it’s like that Spiderman 3 movie with the black suit. One day at an event, they put on their driving gear… and something just feels different. At the staging lanes, they begin to sweat & itch all overs their driving suit feels like it is embedding itself into their skin. The only sounds they can seem to make-out are their own quickening heartbeat, and a few faint echoed voices from outside the car. Panic sets in.
Then – all the sudden without warning, they go into convulsions…
Their balls jump out of their body, run up their chest & into their helmet, and take over their brain. They hear the menacing laugh of Satan come from within. Their vision goes red, and zeros-in on the first clipping point. They yearn for destruction. Satan’s laugh gets louder. It has taken over now. A flag drops – they are released.
It’s GO time: their foot dumps the gas pedal through the floor; tires scream at their own horrible demise; blood oozes from the shift knob & steering wheel under the demon’s grip; and girl’s panties suddenly burst into flames as the car snarls by. And that’s the practice lap.
They call these people ball-drivers…
(Hmm… or at least we do as of now I guess.) They are awesome to watch. They become a crowd favorite at every event, and infect people with this sport. We thank Blake for that… and we now invite you to take a look at the 350Z that Blake and his balls drive.
Text by Wooley. Photos by Brady Stribling. Layout by Byron Hill
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