2018 Toyota Sienna review

Here’s the thing. If you’re reading this late at night when no one’s looking. And you’re peaking around online because you need a new car. And you have a growing family that you love. And you’re just a little minivan-curious… but you don’t wanna be a sellout because you grew up on Lil Jon & Ying Yang twins. If that’s you right now, look at it this way. It’s not a sellout move to get a minivan. Nope. It’s a sellout move NOT to get one.

And here’s why: Because if you don’t get a minivan, you’re gonna end up with some flaccid, pathetic version of an SUV, and that’s worse. And it’s also about 99% true. So if the other car you’re considering is NOT a Dodge with an SRT badge, or a Jeep Wrangler… just get the damn minivan & own it.

I know all the pretty ‘mean-girl’ type moms at preschool (who look like they have it all together on Instagram) drive Tahoes or black Mercedes SUVs. But do the doors slide open with your remote on a Chevy Tahoe?? The answer is noooo… they don’t. Sliding doors are pimp; those moms don’t know shit about minivan life. Instead – they drive a vehicle that they can’t see out of, while getting about the same cargo room as the minivan. AND – they have to deal with swinging rear doors in tight preschool parking lots (and the garage!) when they’re trying to get their snot-nosed kids in the back. Next thing you know… they’ve got scrapes all along the garage wall from brats & groceries… and their poor husbands are cursing while having to paint the garage on the weekend… instead of enjoying their time off with their family. Next thing you know, your youngest hears his 4-letter words & repeats them to the teacher… and NOW you’re in a real embarrassing teacher/parent conference sweating. All so no one feels emasculated driving to Chili’s in a minivan. The frickin’ Tahoe is leased… get over yourself, Liz!

Is a minivan fun to drive. Nope! But it will allow you to HAVE fun?? Yes! Fun is what you make it; go out & do stuff. The Sienna will get you there un-frazzled. It will minimize the stress in your life… and maximize the convenience. I understand the trials of parenthood. Metaphorically – you’re whole life is like when you drive out of the neighborhood, and then realize you forgot something & have to turn around. I get it. The Sienna, will take some of that off your plate. Heck – the Toyota Sienna OR the Honda Odyssey. Go drive both! And watch the summer heat escape from the car as you open the doors & hatch from your key fob. Watch your kids effortlessly get into the vehicle… without you having to heave them up into it. Open & close the rear doors from a button on the dash. Bask in the glorious amount of cargo room, and clever infotainment/DVD gadgets. …And then tell me I’m wrong.