Minivans are kinda rad. There I said it.
And if you’re online reading a Toyota Sienna review right now, I’m guessing here’s your situation: You have a growing family that you love. And you’re a little minivan-curious because they make so much darn sense. BUT you’re kind of torn… because you don’t wanna be a sellout & you grew up on Lil Jon & Ying Yang twins. Ahhh the struggle lol. If that’s you right now, look at it this way. It’s not a sellout move to get a minivan. It’s a sellout move NOT to get one. Keep it real.
Here’s why: Because if you DON’T get a minivan, I’ll bet $100 you’re gonna end up with some flaccid, pathetic, crossover, germaphobe version of an SUV… and that’s worse. All these generic crossovers out there??? They’re basically ALL minivans, but worse because they try to put a mask over it. So if the other car you’re considering is NOT a ‘70s beach Bronco or something with 2 seats, a manual transmission & a turbo… just get the minivan & own it!
I know all the Influencer Moms at preschool drive Tahoes or European SUVs. But do the doors slide open from your key fob on a Chevy damn Tahoe?? Nope… they don’t. And with those Euro SUVs… they’re never out of the shop long enough to find out loool.
Look – sliding doors are straight pimpin, pimpin! Those other moms ain’t about that life. Instead – they drive a vehicle they can’t even see out of, because they’re worried about how they’re gonna be seen. All while getting about the same cargo room as a Sienna… without the convenience.
AND – they’re constantly having to deal with giant swinging rear doors in tight parking lots while trying to get their snot-nosed kids hoisted up in car seats. Next thing you know, they’re dinging my door. Perfect.
But it doesn’t stop there. They’re a bull in a china shop. They get to their house, and mark up their own garage wall with the doors… trying to get all their kids & Target bags out. Then their poor husbands are stuck having to repaint the garage on the weekend, instead of enjoying weekend fun with their family. They let a curse word slip out in the heat when paint spills on the floor. One of the kids hear it, and conveniently repeats it to the teacher. Now they’re in a real embarrassing teacher/parent conference… all so no one felt ‘emasculated’ driving to Chili’s in a minivan. Besides – the Tahoe is leased Liz! Get over yourself!
Look – I may have just gone down a rabbit hole lol. But personally, I’m a master at owning inconvenient dumb/cool cars. It’s what I do for a living… and I know the actual trade-off cost of inconvenience.
Bottom line: the Toyota Sienna may not be super fun to drive… but it will allow you to HAVE fun with your family!! And that’s the important part. These are the years to cherish. Owning the Sienna, you’ll want to go on that weekend trip, and the Sienna will get you there un-frazzled. It will minimize the stress in your life… and maximize the convenience & opportunity. It will take some of the chaos off your plate. Maintenance will be rare & low cost. Plus – you’re kids are gonna LOVE it.
And you’re gonna love watching that summer heat instantly escape from the car as you open the doors & hatch from across the parking lot on your key fob.
You’re gonna love it when your hands are full, and your kids can effortlessly get themselves into the vehicle… without you having to heave them up into it.
You’re gonna love how you can open/close the rear doors from a button on the dash.
And you’re gonna love basking in the glorious amount of cargo room & clever infotainment/DVD gadgets.
For real.
