I was driving to the S3 office this morning . . . and I was on a two-lane road. As I was pulling off from a stop sign, I got on it a little in 2nd gear . . . no big deal . . . not enough to get arrested, but probably enough to get pulled over. Anyway, as I’m mid-through second gear, I see something cool cresting the horizon coming from the other direction. Can’t tell what it is . . . looks like either an S13 or a Teggy from where I was. All I know is that is was white.
Now normally, I usually don’t pull all the way through 2nd gear. It’s just a force of habit I guess . . . I usually let off around 5grand under normal, boring circumstances.
But this time I said, “Screw it”. I felt like screwin’ around.
I’m burried . . . well past the speed limit . . . well into 3rd gear as I pass the car. Turns out it was an S13 with sleepy eyes. It’s also right hand drive . . . because he was flailing his hand out the right side of the car waiving. I waive as I pass (you should never be too cool to waive), but stay pounded on the gas all the way until I got around the bend and he was out of sight.
Then – I laughed my ass off in the car all by myself . . . pretty much because that must have looked/sounded awesome. And that’s what it’s all about – ya know. Sometimes you just gotta do stuff like that to keep the scene fresh.
So I forget about it after a minute, and continue for like 6 miles until I take a left, and the two-lane road becomes a four. As I pull the left . . . guess who pops out from a few cars back – dude in the S13. Where the f*ck did he come from, and how the f*ck did he do that?!?! I’m LOLing big time.
As we’re rollin’ down the street he yells, “Hey – you work for S3 don’t you.”
I say, “Yeah.”
He yells, “Wait . . . I thought you drove a PT Cruiser???”
I yell, “F************ck you.” LOL
(I didn’t really say that; I thought it though . . . but just in a joking way.)
What I really said is, “Yeah – when this is broken.”
And he yells, “Yeah – a PT Cruiser with gold Sportmax wheels.”
And then I yell, “F******************k you.”
And he yells, “Dude I was haulin’ ASS to catch you.”
Then he said he wanted to get his car featured, and I said, “Here – follow me to the office; we’re almost there.”
I pull up and park. And he pulls up and parks . . . and hits the curb. And I laugh, because I hit that same fuggin curb every day, and it always pisses me off. But you can’t see it, and the little bastard sneaks up on you cause you’re trying to get out of traffic.
But when he hit it . . . he has a big fiberglass nose . . . and it makes this horrible sound as it crunches and bends.
And I lol at the whole situation so far.
And then – I sh*t you not – a dead bird just kind of appears (or emerges) from the bending bumper . . . right up by the hood and the headlight of his car. It was the most disgusting thing I’ve seen in awhile. And I felt bad for the bird, because I like birds. I also felt bad for the two old guys on the bench watching – who were trying to figure the whole thing out.
The guy with the S13 was going, “Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!” . . . and trying to raise and lower his headlights to get it off.
He did finally – we buried it under some straw, and then he came in and bought a subscription.
. . . . . . . . . . . And all YOU have to do is click on that “subscribe” link.
