Sometimes I think the car world has gone mental. Not just because of EV mandates (& now walk-backs), or screen obsessions, or politicians trying to legislate soul & enthusiasm to extinction. And not even CEOs like Ford’s Jim Farley straddling so many fences he might as well… you get the idea. No – in this article I’m talking about something far more absurd: The complete meltdown of automotive terminology. Words that we’ve used for decades – are being stretched, abused, and remixed so aggressively – that it needs to be called out.
Take the word coupe, for example…
The word coupe designates a 2-door car, and it always has. There’s a word for a 4-door car, and that word is sedan. There’s even a term that got traction in the 80s called sports-sedan, and that’s perfectly logical & instinctual terminology. But today, carmakers bypass reality & call cars WITH 4 ENTIRE DOORS… a coupe. All because one day some marketing department (*cough* Mercedes in 2004 with the CLS) decided a ‘sloped roof’ could mean coupe. Fast-forward to present day, and we’ve got 4-door coupes, SUV coupes, crossover coupes. I mean hell – at this point if somebody calls a pickup a “blended performance utility coupe” I won’t even flinch.
And then there’s the word Turbo…
Of all brands, Porsche stooped to an unforgivable low and put the word TURBO on their electric vehicles. A TURBO badge on a car WITHOUT a turbo – straight from Porsche. Back in the day we used to make fun of dipsh¡t kids who put a TURBO badge next to their VTEC badge on their Sentra. And now this an actual chapter in Porsche’s history?! Look – we understand the word ‘turbo’ has been associated with enhanced performance in the marketing world – in everything from vacuum cleaners to a razors. But THIS AIN’T THAT! We’d expect this kind of move from a Chinese car company knocking-off Porsche – but never from Porsche. Where’s the standard; where’s the authenticity? Who’s making these decisions? And who are they selling these to?
The term SUV used to mean something…
Sport Utility Vehicle. These were boxy, rugged, truck-based vehicles that were built to meet active, adventurous lifestyles. Sounds appealing right? Well it was. Annnd it was marketable. So much so, that today nearly everything is an SUV. Minus the S… and in many cases the U. SUVs got so watered-down they had to create a new name – the crossover. AKA: Station wagons in hiking boots. Minivans without the sliding doors.
What’s in a Name??
Car names are not safe. We’d be remiss not to mention some of the car names that have been rehashed & butchered: Ford Mustang Mach E, Honda Prelude, Acura RSX, Mitsubishi Eclipse Cross, Dodge Hornet. Not all have gone poorly though, some have been well received. For example: The Ford Bronco & Maverick, Lamborghini Countach, errrrm Supra??? Then there’s the Integra, which is what we wanted, just not really how we wanted it.
It’s cool to push boundaries in the automotive industry…
But damnit – please show us the decency of authenticity, and name things accurately. Trends & terminology evolve – we get that. But truth doesn’t. And what’s happening here isn’t evolution. It’s laziness & conformity dressed up like sexiness & sizzle. Carmakers are lying to us, tarnishing their own legacy, and damaging their own future. And here’s the sting: People (not real enthusiasts) are accepting the lie with open wallets, because in this time & generation, consumers want “the image” without the burden or inconvenience of earning it. It doesn’t work like that.
So who’s doing it right??
Mazda: The Miata is still as true as a sport car gets. It’s been out for over 35 years, and in a world where everything has gotten fatter, number, & dumber, the Miata has never lost its identity or its purpose. What began as an (arguably) wussy roadster has turned into one of the most raw, most unfiltered, and most affordable sports cars out there. Miata’s spirit has guided the entire brand.
Toyota: While other carmakers are full of yes-man (and women) CEOs, Toyota still has bloodline in the company… and that matters. It gives them passion beyond the next paycheck. Toyota (specifically Akio Toyoda) had the balls to stand up against political pressure/agendas. And when other manufacturers overtly turned their backs on their fanbase & their heritage… Toyota countered by creating Gazoo Racing while simultaneously pouring into legitimate 4×4 body-on-frame SUVs (including the Lexus GX 550).
Ford: While Ford tends to sway with the popular breeze, you gotta give ’em credit where it’s due. They successfully brought back the Bronco, and expanded their enthusiast Raptor line, which helped invigorate brand image. The S650 Mustang is not without its hurdles, but in a post pony-car world, the Mustang is the last man standing. If/when GM & Mopar ever return to that segment… you gotta remember how poorly they left it.
Jeep: Not Jeep as a whole, but the Jeep Wrangler & Gladiator. People always have strong opinions either for or against the Jeep Wrangler. Say what you will – the Jeep has remained far more authentic than most. Than all? Gladiator sales struggle, but show me a more legitimate/capable (and modular) midsize truck for the money.
